His school was near three other schools that all let out everyday the same time. Streams of kids were let loose on the city like a flash flood on a stormy day. Jared liked to walk, especially on a day like today when the sun was shining and leaves crunched underfoot. Walking alone after a long day at school was his preferred way of getting home and he had several routes, which he loved because no one else seemed to know them. He moved like a phantom through back lane ways, deserted parking lots and part of the citywide trail that people found difficult.
Today he was taking his time enjoying the sun and the freedom. Hours of sitting in a stuffy classroom had made him lethargic and he needed this walk to come alive again. He really hoped his father wouldn’t be home when he got there. He was tired of feeling suffocated by expectations.
I feel caged in by fear and inertia. I look out and my freedom is covered in ice.
I read a blog every day by a woman I consider a friend, She did this on her blog A Rural Journal, today and I borrowed the idea. I hope you don’t mind Nancy. .
Outside: a winter blizzard
Pondering: people raising their children on their blogs and in social media
Looking Forward To: my medication getting organized so I can restart my recovery
Fixating On: eating: too, much and too often
What I Need To Remember: set a schedule and do one thing at a time ~ be patient
My Current Project: trying to put the house back together after the Holiday
Hoping For: safe travels for those who have to be out in this
Watching: The Mentalist and Leverage
Dinner Last Night: odds and ends, with peanut butter
What made me frown/upset/laugh/smile/think today: a post by Karen Maezen Miller
Grateful for: a family who cares and tried to understand
At brunch with a dear friend we sat beside my ex’s ex. I still think about him frequently, sentimentally, sadly. I was surprised how much I wanted to interrupt her and ask her a million questions about him. I was so relieved when I didn’t.
I watched a movie today and shut the door to the creative part of my brain. All we are left with is this.
For over 16 years I dated younger men and kept by stomach pulled in at all costs. Then I stopped. Did I look different? Yes, of course. Did I feel different? Oh most definitely!
The snowing sky started turning the colors and although I looked through white, I saw only gray
I ask her gently every day if I can help but her fierceness, like an Arctic wind, blows back nearly grounding me.
small stones like words worth repeating are sometimes hard to find
the skif of snow melting from the warmth of the sun off the frozen puddles reminds me of how quick things change